27 juillet 2016

5 choses qu'on devrait faire devant nos enfants

Be Affectionate

Let's face it, some of us are more affectionate than others.  So how important is it for our children to see us being physically affectionate towards our spouse?  According to the Canadian Counseling and Physchotherapy Association, when children see their parents displaying suitable forms of affection, they will have mental images of what a healthy relationship should be when they are older.  Parents who openly hug, kiss, and share appropriate and loving physical touch are giving their children the indicator of a healthy, loving relationship, and in turn, stability in the home.

Disagree Responsibly and Considerately

Hitching yourself to one person for the rest of your life is amazing when you share deep, soul-moving conversations or downright juvenile laughs over Dumb and Dumber.  But it's kind of frustrating when one partner likes the thermostat at a frigid 62 degrees and the other at a toasty 75.  Or when one is a spender and the other a saver.  Disagreements in marriage will inevitably occur.  But how our children see us disagreeing can shape their emotional security, behavior, and future relationships.

 In a study published in the journal Child Development, kids whose parents fought the most when the child was in kindergarten were more emotionally insecure and had more mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and behavioral problems later in life.  When a child sees his parents fighting, yelling, or getting emotionally or physically abusive, it affects their sense of security and well-being.  

Children should see that every relationship comes with some level of conflict.  What they need to see is that conflict can be dealt with and resolved in a courteous and  constructive manner.


The most difficult two words to learn in life may quite possibly be, "I'm sorry."  My four-year-old would rather be strapped in a straight jacket than say sorry to his big sister.  Confession: he gets it from me, his very stubborn mom who is right 98% of the time and has a very hard time apologizing when she's not.  

The power of a sincere, public apology is like a pebble thrown into a pond; the ripple effect is significant.  If you and your spouse can recognize when you're wrong, and model good behavior by apologizing, your kids will see and internalize that.  Learning to apologize is a communication skill essential to being a responsible human being.  The best place for kids to learn that skill is at home in a loving environment where mom and dad aren't afraid to say, "I'm sorry."

Laugh, Joke, and Be Silly

Charlie Chaplin said, "A day without laughter is a day wasted."  How true!  And how valuable are the days, the hours, the minutes that we spend with our children?  Laughter clings to the walls of a home and deposits sparkles of magic.  One of the most important ways to stay close as a family is to have fun together, and that means laughing, joking, and even being silly.  The benefits of doing so are huge!  Having fun in the home relieves stress, boosts endorphins, and builds super-hero-strong relationships.

Life can't all be fun and games, but if you find yourself being the "serious parent" more often than not, try lightening it up a bit.   Playing with your children fuels their imagination and creativity, as well as brings you closer together.  Try our HowDoesShe all-time favorite laughter tool, the Tickle Monster Laughter Kit!   

Work Through a Difficult Problem

When I was 12 years old, my parents gathered us for a family counsel around the kitchen table.  "This year," they explained, "we don't have the money for  a big Christmas."  They went on to explain their tight budget, due to some family medical expenses, and that this setback didn't have to ruin our Christmas if we didn't let it.  They spoke to us as adults, and asked us to generate some ideas on things we might do as a family to have a perfect Christmas

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