16 septembre 2015
Parce que vous peupler tse...
Par contre, les relations freres/soeurs.. frere/frere.. (bref vous comprenez..) ce n'est pas toujours facile.
Aujourd'hui je vous propose 5 trucs pour faciliter les relations et le travail d'equipe:
1. Be an example. Oh boy! This is the hardest one, right? Why can’t our kids follow what we say and not what we do? :) Studies have shown that if parents can resolve their differences and show love towards one another in front of their children, that their children learn to do the same with their siblings and peers. It’s not a bad thing for kids to see their parents having arguments (I personally believe it’s good) as long as they can also see that you can resolve those disputes. If parents always fight behind closed doors, children grow up with a false sense of what marriage is really like. In life we ALL have issues getting along with one person or another. What’s most important (according to me) is how we handle it.
2. Set Clear Rules. IS it ok to fight in your house? Is it ok to scream, hit or belittle? Where do you draw the line? Make sure your children know what the rules are and what the consequences are. My kids tend to fight the most while they are sitting together at the table eating. (I thought eating together was supposed to bring family unity ;-) ) We have a rule now that if they argue or fight they will be excused to go to their room. If their food gets cold as a result, too bad!
3. Try to stop the escalation. If you’ve been a parent long enough, you know when an argument will quickly turn into a knock down drag out fight. Distraction can work for younger kids but older ones take a little more trick. My mom used to sing a hymn called, ‘Let Us All Speak Kind Words to Each Other’ whenever we were arguing.We would get so annoyed at HER that oft times we would stop arguing just to stop her singing! (: Read my post here about how singing crazy songs has helped me in mothering. You could do a crazy dance too if you’re feeling in the mood! :) OR I have been known to give extra chores to children who are having a hard time getting along. (if they have enough time to fight and argue, they must need something to do, right?) I have also taken the 2 that were fighting and made them sit in the rocking chair together until they got along. Ever watched the movie The Parent Trap? If they can’t get along, they must need to spend more time working together!
4. Use Media for good. I’m all for using media in the home. It can be a great resource for good when used in moderation. (because I NEVER use media to entertain my children so I can get something done! Of course not! :roll: )I’ve noticed my kids fight and whine more when I’ve allowed them to watch too much tv or spend too much time on their ‘devices.’ Why is that? Because spending too much time with digital entertainment only encourages selfishness, not cooperation and getting along with other people! My kids know that if they are watching a movie or playing a game and they start arguing or fighting, then they will most certainly hear me say, “All electronic devices off!!” It doesn’t matter if only 2 were fighting and 1 wasn’t. Digital entertainment is just that….entertainment. It is not a necessary part of life and, therefore will be banned if our family is not getting along. Family relationships will last far longer than electronic devices and matter far more!
5. Spend more time together. At the beginning of every summer I have to gear myself up for an increase in contention at my house. You see, they go from being in school all day to suddenly being with their family all day and it’s almost like they have to learn to live with each other all over again! The more time you spend with your kids the stonger the bond and more you all learn to get along! One way I have found to do this recently is to play games together. Games can lead to fighting too when children don’t win or think someone cheated. I decided to try and find some family games that would help my children learn to work together instead of against each other.
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